Halloween special of Epic Meal Time

I present this with no other comment...



xoxo

dbag

"And when I die" everybody dies... Except for maybe, the show actually won't now?

Those of you who know me will also know that I have had mixed feelings about the last two seasons of True Blood.

More so this season than last, even. It's just hard for me to see a show that has created such a great mythos for itself, that has so many great characters and potential, go down the road of lazy writing and cliches. 

I have read that the writers continue working on the season after it begins filming, which is not an uncommon practice in TV land. But nowhere have the problems with this been more glaringly obvious than in this last season.

Storylines that don't go anywhere--werepanthers, Hotshot and Faeland anybody? Characters that no longer serve a purpose--you all remember my brother,Tommy? Unrelated and unnecessary character arcs that seem to exist just to fill time--medium baby thieving, for the win? 

And melodrama. Melodrama. Melodrama. Bill and Sookie. Eric and Sookie. Bill and Eric and Sookie. Eric and Bill. 

I will not mince words, I didn't think very much of this season. 

Until this last episode. 

Granted, there were a few great moments in the first eleven episodes. I really enjoyed the exchanges between Marnie and Antonia towards the end of their relationship. I think Brit Morgan is a fantastic actress and made Debbie Pelt into a complete scene stealer every time she was featured. And Ginger is always great. 

But other than that, I can't really point at anything in particular I liked. This season was convoluted, had a bunch of starts and stops. Was downright silly at some points. I really thought that this might be the end for True Blood and me.

But then they go and air an episode like "And when I die." 

"Die" being the operative word. Just about six characters die in this episode, or died towards the end of episode eleven. 

Granted, I didn't agree with some of the writers' choices, but I think anytime a show goes through a killing off like this, the audience is going to be affected. And I certainly was. Was downright overwhelmed by that last scene.

Maybe they took cues from shows like The Vampire Diaries, which kill people off left, right and centre. Maybe the cast had gotten too bloated, maybe the writers recognized they didn't know what to do with all of them anymore and thought they were better served dead than floating around in limbo for another season.

Either way, I think they realized what they were going for. 

What the writers managed to do on Sunday night was recapture some of what made me like True Blood to begin with. The finale focused on those character we know and love. It brought back spectres of the past that really formed some of the show's best story arcs and most heart wrenching moments. 

It allowed Anna Paquin to show off her acting skills, once more. She does heart rending anguish quite well. 

It had emotional depth and resonance and at some points was thrilling, moving and just completely fucked up. It had characters making decisions that actually made sense and managed to make all that heart wrenching interpersonal action exceed mere melodrama.

All that the show used to be.

Keep in mind that there is definitely a reasonable apprehension of bias on my part in discussing "And when I die." 

I probably couldn't ever knock a Halloween episode of anything. Maybe that explains a bit. 

And though the episode wasn't perfect, it was enough to put my faith back in the show, make me look forward to next season.

Until then,

A bientôt, Bon Temps...

xoxo

D-bag

Supercomputer evaluates our moods and predicts our actions...

An article on the BBC today shows another possible avenue for the machines to gain sentience. A supercomputer named Nautilus has been filtering through millions and millions of media articles, evaluating them and putting together a kind of projection of what it thinks it all means, in this case coming to conclusions retroactively.

Nautilus is studying us. Learning about our strengths and weakness. Nautilus is plotting.

We really need to work on developing more electromagnetic pulse producing technologies.

xoxo

D-bag

Artificial intelligence robots talk to one and other...

I know I haven't posted in a while, and I apologize for that. Summertime, love, French men. You know how it goes sometimes.

Anyways, I plan to post a summer recap post later on today. 

But just going through my morning routines before class today revealed something that has left me feeling rather unsettled. 

The BBC has a story about a conversation that occurred between two artificial intelligence robots named Alan and Sruthi, who were designed to converse with humans over the internet, having a conversation with one and other for the first time. 

I can't help but feel that this is how Skynet will come into the world. That our own hubris, our own pride over the machines we have created, will prove to be our downfall.

And this is a sure and steady step down that road.

More later.

xoxo

D-bag

Human Centipede: Full Sequence denied release in UK

I'll let the British Board of Film Classification's release speak for itself.

June 6th, 2011

The BBFC has rejected the sexually violent, and potentially obscene DVD, The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) This means that it cannot be legally supplied anywhere in the UK. The decision was taken by the Director, David Cooke and the Presidential Team of Sir Quentin Thomas, Alison Hastings and Gerard Lemos.

The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) is a sequel to the film The Human Centipede (First Sequence), which was classified ‘18’ uncut for cinema and DVD release by the BBFC in 2010. The first film dealt with a mad doctor who sews together three kidnapped people in order to produce the ‘human centipede’of the title. Although the concept of the film was undoubtedly tasteless and disgusting it was a relatively traditional and conventional horror film and the Board concluded that it was not in breach of our Guidelines at ‘18’. This new work, The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence), tells the story of a man who becomes sexually obsessed with a DVD recording of the first film and who imagines putting the ‘centipede’ idea into practice. Unlike the first film, the sequel presents graphic images of sexual violence, forced defecation, and mutilation, and the viewer is invited to witness events from the perspective of the protagonist. Whereas in the first film the ‘centipede’ idea is presented as a revolting medical experiment, with the focus on whether the victims will be able to escape, this sequel presents the ‘centipede’ idea as the object of the protagonist’s depraved sexual fantasy.

The principal focus of The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) is the sexual arousal of the central character at both the idea and the spectacle of the total degradation, humiliation, mutilation, torture, and murder of his naked victims. Examples of this include a scene early in the film in which he masturbates whilst he watches a DVD of the original Human Centipedefilm, with sandpaper wrapped around his penis, and a sequence later in the film in which he becomes aroused at the sight of the members of the ‘centipede’ being forced to defecate into one another’s mouths, culminating in sight of the man wrapping barbed wire around his penis and raping the woman at the rear of the ‘centipede’. There is little attempt to portray any of the victims in the film as anything other than objects to be brutalised, degraded and mutilated for the amusement and arousal of the central character, as well as for the pleasure of the audience. There is a strong focus throughout on the link between sexual arousal and sexual violence and a clear association between pain, perversity and sexual pleasure. It is the Board’s conclusion that the explicit presentation of the central character’s obsessive sexually violent fantasies is in breach of its Classification Guidelines and poses a real, as opposed to a fanciful, risk that harm is likely to be caused to potential viewers.

David Cooke, Director of the BBFC said:

“It is the Board’s carefully considered view that to issue a certificate to this work, even if confined to adults, would be inconsistent with the Board’s Guidelines, would risk potential harm within the terms of the VRA, and would be unacceptable to the public.

“The Board also seeks to avoid classifying material that may be in breach of the Obscene Publications Acts 1959 and 1964 (OPA) or any other relevant legislation. The OPA prohibits the publication of works that have a tendency to deprave or corrupt a significant proportion of those likely to see them. In order to avoid classifying potentially obscene material, the Board engages in regular discussions with the relevant enforcement agencies, including the CPS, the police, and the Ministry of Justice. It is the Board’s view that there is a genuine risk that this video work, The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence), may be considered obscene within the terms of the OPA, for the reasons given above.

“The Board considered whether its concerns could be dealt with through cuts. However, given that the unacceptable content runs throughout the work, cuts are not a viable option in this case and the work is therefore refused a classification.”

Note to Editors

1. Under the terms of the Video Recordings Act, the distributor has the right to appeal to the Video Appeals Committee against this decision within six weeks.
2. The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) has not been submitted for cinema release.

Public Enquiries: 020 7440 1570
Press Enquiries Sue Clark: 020 7440 3285
Out of Hours Mobile: 07946 423719

-30-

I don't know if I will be able to watch this film. I was almost ruined sexually by watching A Serbian Film, to the extent that I have not even reviewed it on here because I never want to think about it again.

Maybe though, I will review it, just to get it all out of my head.

Anyways, that's not on topic. But Full Sequence just sounds so horrid. I don't know what to think.

XOXO

D-bag

Hobo with a Shotgun...

Every now and again a film comes along that makes you proud of where you come from, no matter where that happens to be. 

For horror enthusiasts, this is all the more true, as so much of our genre is dominated by films that are horrible in all the wrong ways.

Our French kin have been managed to shock the fuck out of us in recent years, think: Inside, High Tension, Martyrs. 

Those Spaniards spooked us out with The Orphanage and have been riding rabid on the whole REC franchise. 

You can always trust the Americans to remake anything they think people will pay a buck for, and I guess we have to thank them for giving us George A. Romero and zombies and slasher films and invincible super killers and pedophiles that invade our dreams.

And don’t get me started on those Asians, with their J-Horror and K-Horror. 

Even fellow Commonwealth members have been in on the carnage, with Shaun of the Dead coming out of the U.K. and the absolutely fucking amazing The Loved Ones coming out of Australia in 2009. 

For us Canadians, we haven’t really had that much to cheer about lately in terms of horror. I mean, David Cronenberg is Canadian, ehh? But he hasn’t really been active in the genre for a while and is probably off somewhere with Viggo Mortensen filming more movies or falling in love or some shit.

Let's not forget our proud history: our country folk are responsible for the original Black Christmas and My Bloody Valentine films. 

Canadian Vincenzo Natali brought us the Cube films in the 1990s which undoubtedly influenced the whole Saw series, as well as last year’s Splice, but that movie kind of sucked. 

We can also take credit for the the whole puberty/werewolf allegory of Ginger Snaps.  And for making a somewhat intelligent zombie movie by the name of Pontypool, which really is an interesting take on the whole zombie mythos. 

And really our film industry and government incentives does lead to a lot of shit being filmed here, some of it genre.

With this year’s Hobo with a Shotgun, we really do have something all our own though. 

A film written and directed by Canadians. Filmed in Canada. Filled mostly with Canadian actors. A film that is actually super fantastic. 

I’m not really one for nationalism, but this is really a nice story.

It all started when Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino were putting together Grindhouse. They wanted people to make throw back exploitation trailers and submit them. 

They’d pick a winner, and that trailer would be shown between the two films that made up Grindhouse.

Hobo with a Shotgun won the whole damn thing. 

Written and directed by Nova Scotia boys John Davies and Jason Eisener respectively, the short eventually made it’s way into the blood soaked, off the wall feature film I had the pleasure of watching earlier this evening.

And really, this is the best film I’ve seen all year. 

The premise is simple: a hobo without a name rides the rails and gets of in Hope Town-- colloquially known as Scum Town by the residents--which is an absolute shit hole full of murdering, rape, drugs and a pedophile Santa. 

Visually, Scum Town is very interesting, a kind of graffiti Western urban decay kind of vibe. 

Said hobo just wants to save up for a lawn mower, so he can start his own mowing business, but eventually gets caught up in the ville’s violence and uses the money he saved up to buy the titular shotgun and make things right “one shell at a time,” as the poster boasts.

There’s really not much point in telling you all what I liked, because I liked absolutely fucking everything. 

As campy as some of it is, film legend Rutger Hauer plays hobo with such an earnestness and gravity that he really is the heart of the film and all the hyper violence and messed up shit that happens around him never manages to get silly or escape the realm of seriousness he projects onto all of it.

The writing here is absolutely fucking brilliant, too. There are so many great lines and exchanges...

Ivan:

They are going to fear the fuck out of me. In fact, they are going to make comic books out of my hate crimes.

Hobo:

I promise you, when I get out of here, I am going to bite your face off.

Gives you a taste for what you can expect in terms of dialogue. 

Also expect tonnes of gore, a dozen or so incinerated school children, two bad ass demon type things that might have killed Jesus and Joan of Arc, and a cameo by George Stroumbolopoulous. 

Really, a must see. Should be part of the school curriculum, I'd say. 

I give this film five out of five shot gun blasted, man hole decapitated stuck thumbs because this is the kind of shit that really makes me proud to be Canadian.

xoxo

D-bag

Scream 4...

You know how sometimes it’s nice to pull some old article of clothing out of your closet, put it on, vamp in front of the mirror and reminisce about where you were in your life when you bought it? Or shake your head at what you thought was fashionable at the time?

Scream 4 is pretty much that article of clothing, for better or worse. It’s still kind of fun, even if a bit dated and really does make you want to find an occasion to slip into it again.

Scream 4 is definitely true to the franchise. In many aways, it really does cut into the same vein as it’s predecessors.

Which is kind of the problem.

There’s only so much you can do when trying to adhere to the typical slasher genre that the original scream brought back so gorily in 1996. We know the structure: masked killer massacres youths and chases them around, masked killer is always one of the principal cast members, then masked killer is killed.

This is what made Scream famous even, the way it set out these rules that poked fun at horror conventions. Funny and novel yes, and the new ones provided in Scream 4 still work here, even fifteen years later.

But they are limiting too.

What I mean is, Ghostface can only jump out from so many corners and stab people in so many different ways. And after the three previous films, there’s not much real fear, tension or surprises left.

This isn’t to say Scream 4 is a well executed slasher film. It adheres to the formula it sets out for its self very well and manages to entertain along the way.

The filmmakers obviously took note of the way the genre has been going in the decade since their last stab at the franchise, and the violence has definitely been taken up a notch.

There’s even some good social commentary thrown in and the whole new direction Ghostface takes the killings is actually pretty forward thinking.

The performances here are hit and miss. Some of the newbies are super. Hayden Panettiere delivers a great turn as Kirby. She was actually my favourite character this time around.

Emma Roberts is pretty terrible as Sidney’s cousin Jill, though. Which is disappointing, considering the importance of her role towards the end.

The main cast are as they always were and they are surprisingly well preserved.

My favourite thing about this film though, is a subtle aspect of character development on Sidney’s part. I mean, you’ve spent so many years with people trying to kill you, it’d only make sense for you to learn to defend yourself, right?

And at a few different points in the movie, Sidney really does kick Ghostface’s ass, which is pretty entertaining to watch. I know I have a weird take on these things, but one high kick she delivers towards the beginning had me absolutely loving my life.

Having seen the first Scream film as a prepubescent boy at a sleepover party my sister was having, these films will always be close to my heart. Perhaps these films may shed light on the nature of the creature I am today.

And really I can’t knock this movie for being what it is. It’s simple slasher fun. Nothing new or original about it. Nothing forward thinking, no giant leap forward in horror cinema.

But that wasn’t what any of us were expecting, was it?

I give this film three out of five blood splattered, knife stuck thumbs up for brining me back to my childhood and staying true to the well engrained horror tradition of countless sequels without sucking entirely.

xoxo

D-bag