Hobo with a Shotgun...

Every now and again a film comes along that makes you proud of where you come from, no matter where that happens to be. 

For horror enthusiasts, this is all the more true, as so much of our genre is dominated by films that are horrible in all the wrong ways.

Our French kin have been managed to shock the fuck out of us in recent years, think: Inside, High Tension, Martyrs. 

Those Spaniards spooked us out with The Orphanage and have been riding rabid on the whole REC franchise. 

You can always trust the Americans to remake anything they think people will pay a buck for, and I guess we have to thank them for giving us George A. Romero and zombies and slasher films and invincible super killers and pedophiles that invade our dreams.

And don’t get me started on those Asians, with their J-Horror and K-Horror. 

Even fellow Commonwealth members have been in on the carnage, with Shaun of the Dead coming out of the U.K. and the absolutely fucking amazing The Loved Ones coming out of Australia in 2009. 

For us Canadians, we haven’t really had that much to cheer about lately in terms of horror. I mean, David Cronenberg is Canadian, ehh? But he hasn’t really been active in the genre for a while and is probably off somewhere with Viggo Mortensen filming more movies or falling in love or some shit.

Let's not forget our proud history: our country folk are responsible for the original Black Christmas and My Bloody Valentine films. 

Canadian Vincenzo Natali brought us the Cube films in the 1990s which undoubtedly influenced the whole Saw series, as well as last year’s Splice, but that movie kind of sucked. 

We can also take credit for the the whole puberty/werewolf allegory of Ginger Snaps.  And for making a somewhat intelligent zombie movie by the name of Pontypool, which really is an interesting take on the whole zombie mythos. 

And really our film industry and government incentives does lead to a lot of shit being filmed here, some of it genre.

With this year’s Hobo with a Shotgun, we really do have something all our own though. 

A film written and directed by Canadians. Filmed in Canada. Filled mostly with Canadian actors. A film that is actually super fantastic. 

I’m not really one for nationalism, but this is really a nice story.

It all started when Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino were putting together Grindhouse. They wanted people to make throw back exploitation trailers and submit them. 

They’d pick a winner, and that trailer would be shown between the two films that made up Grindhouse.

Hobo with a Shotgun won the whole damn thing. 

Written and directed by Nova Scotia boys John Davies and Jason Eisener respectively, the short eventually made it’s way into the blood soaked, off the wall feature film I had the pleasure of watching earlier this evening.

And really, this is the best film I’ve seen all year. 

The premise is simple: a hobo without a name rides the rails and gets of in Hope Town-- colloquially known as Scum Town by the residents--which is an absolute shit hole full of murdering, rape, drugs and a pedophile Santa. 

Visually, Scum Town is very interesting, a kind of graffiti Western urban decay kind of vibe. 

Said hobo just wants to save up for a lawn mower, so he can start his own mowing business, but eventually gets caught up in the ville’s violence and uses the money he saved up to buy the titular shotgun and make things right “one shell at a time,” as the poster boasts.

There’s really not much point in telling you all what I liked, because I liked absolutely fucking everything. 

As campy as some of it is, film legend Rutger Hauer plays hobo with such an earnestness and gravity that he really is the heart of the film and all the hyper violence and messed up shit that happens around him never manages to get silly or escape the realm of seriousness he projects onto all of it.

The writing here is absolutely fucking brilliant, too. There are so many great lines and exchanges...

Ivan:

They are going to fear the fuck out of me. In fact, they are going to make comic books out of my hate crimes.

Hobo:

I promise you, when I get out of here, I am going to bite your face off.

Gives you a taste for what you can expect in terms of dialogue. 

Also expect tonnes of gore, a dozen or so incinerated school children, two bad ass demon type things that might have killed Jesus and Joan of Arc, and a cameo by George Stroumbolopoulous. 

Really, a must see. Should be part of the school curriculum, I'd say. 

I give this film five out of five shot gun blasted, man hole decapitated stuck thumbs because this is the kind of shit that really makes me proud to be Canadian.

xoxo

D-bag

Scream 4...

You know how sometimes it’s nice to pull some old article of clothing out of your closet, put it on, vamp in front of the mirror and reminisce about where you were in your life when you bought it? Or shake your head at what you thought was fashionable at the time?

Scream 4 is pretty much that article of clothing, for better or worse. It’s still kind of fun, even if a bit dated and really does make you want to find an occasion to slip into it again.

Scream 4 is definitely true to the franchise. In many aways, it really does cut into the same vein as it’s predecessors.

Which is kind of the problem.

There’s only so much you can do when trying to adhere to the typical slasher genre that the original scream brought back so gorily in 1996. We know the structure: masked killer massacres youths and chases them around, masked killer is always one of the principal cast members, then masked killer is killed.

This is what made Scream famous even, the way it set out these rules that poked fun at horror conventions. Funny and novel yes, and the new ones provided in Scream 4 still work here, even fifteen years later.

But they are limiting too.

What I mean is, Ghostface can only jump out from so many corners and stab people in so many different ways. And after the three previous films, there’s not much real fear, tension or surprises left.

This isn’t to say Scream 4 is a well executed slasher film. It adheres to the formula it sets out for its self very well and manages to entertain along the way.

The filmmakers obviously took note of the way the genre has been going in the decade since their last stab at the franchise, and the violence has definitely been taken up a notch.

There’s even some good social commentary thrown in and the whole new direction Ghostface takes the killings is actually pretty forward thinking.

The performances here are hit and miss. Some of the newbies are super. Hayden Panettiere delivers a great turn as Kirby. She was actually my favourite character this time around.

Emma Roberts is pretty terrible as Sidney’s cousin Jill, though. Which is disappointing, considering the importance of her role towards the end.

The main cast are as they always were and they are surprisingly well preserved.

My favourite thing about this film though, is a subtle aspect of character development on Sidney’s part. I mean, you’ve spent so many years with people trying to kill you, it’d only make sense for you to learn to defend yourself, right?

And at a few different points in the movie, Sidney really does kick Ghostface’s ass, which is pretty entertaining to watch. I know I have a weird take on these things, but one high kick she delivers towards the beginning had me absolutely loving my life.

Having seen the first Scream film as a prepubescent boy at a sleepover party my sister was having, these films will always be close to my heart. Perhaps these films may shed light on the nature of the creature I am today.

And really I can’t knock this movie for being what it is. It’s simple slasher fun. Nothing new or original about it. Nothing forward thinking, no giant leap forward in horror cinema.

But that wasn’t what any of us were expecting, was it?

I give this film three out of five blood splattered, knife stuck thumbs up for brining me back to my childhood and staying true to the well engrained horror tradition of countless sequels without sucking entirely.

xoxo

D-bag

Rise of the Planet of the Apes...

Here's the trailer for the up and coming Planet of the Apes movie, the first in the series and a prequel to all the other films.



I've been seeing items about this movie for months now and really had no idea what to make of it. What tone it would take, whether it would be serious or comical or what.

Upon seeing this trailer, it's obvious that it is indeed a serious semi-genre sci-fi outing perhaps meant as a cautionary tale to us human beings, which could be good. But could also be a disaster.

It will be interesting to see just what happens when it is released.

Anyways, to borrow a line from one of the worst of last year's horror films, "I don't like human beings."

So, it could actually be quite enjoyable for me to see some really smart monkeys bashing people on the head with things and generally causing havoc. It's also kind of an interesting play on all of the horrendousness that goes on in the medical field with animal testing.

It stars James Franco and he and I are going to get gay married, so I'm sure he will want my opinion on it.

xoxo

D-bag

Melancholia...

Here's the trailer for Lars von Trier's latest movie, a so called beautiful film about the end of the world.

From what I can tell, the path of this newly emerging planet seems to be deranging the people on Earth. Perhaps causing them to descend into a certain melancholia as they fear it will not just pass us by, but collide with us.

Obviously, this film will be largely psychological. The Shakespearian imagery here too of Kirsten Dunst floating down the river speaks to the tragic madness of Hamlet's Ophelia. For those of us who have seen von Trier's previous outing, Antichrist, it's clear that he does have some fascination with women that is perhaps similar to my own warrior women fetish, if not a bit more refined.

Anyways, this is the frame I am talking about:

Apparently, this is von Trier's first film that doesn't have a happy ending. So take that however you will, especially if you think about Antichrist. But hey, he's artsy and high brow, so I'm sure he knows what he is talking about.

This film also features Alexander Skarsgard. That is more or less enough for me. I love Eric... err... Alexander so much.

Not sure this is really going to be a genre film, perhaps more in the vein of Black Swan. But we shall see. 

Happy end of the world!

xoxo

D-bag

Insidious...

Insidious is an apt title for a film such as this, in that it somehow managed to make me like it even though really it isn’t all that great. 

Which isn’t to say that it’s a bad film. But it isn’t really good either. It just weave it’s way back so seamlessly as it proceeds that it really did kind of beguile me into enjoying it.

In many ways it is an interesting and contemporary take on the good old haunted/possession genre. And it actually is pretty scary, especially towards the beginning. 

Even though the scares do come pretty much only from jump scenes reinforced by a really loud score, the effect--though heavy handed--never really seems wrong or misused. 

The imagery is unsettling and what turns out to be the film’s primary antagonist is actually quite an interesting and novel take on something that can and has been done wrong so many times. 

The other antagonists are pretty hit and miss and I felt took away from the weight of the aforementioned primary one. This is a story issue, of which there were a few. But again nothing to make me really dislike the movie,. 

The performances are passable and there are actually some fresh ideas here. 

“Your house is haunted, ehh? So why don’t you move then?”

“Oh, it’s the middle of the day. Nothing bad can happen now, can it?”

I will admit I am a bit of a sucker for the pseudo science surrounding the spiritual / demonic world. And the medium /  paranormal investigator here is played quite well by Lin Shaye. She definitely was the best part of the movie for me. 

The concept developed in the film’s second half relating to astral projection is interesting and even if its execution bordered on corny most of the time, the idea is really quite intriguing. 

Overall, the film is kind of corny and a little low brow, but still somehow likable. I can’t say I didn’t enjoy it. I guess that is the nature of insidiousness though, isn’t it?

I give this film three out of 5 fire faced, astral projected stuck thumbs for being a novel take in the genre that didn’t fail completely. 

xoxo

D-bag