Total Recall trailer

Not sure if this can beat three breasted women, Sharon Stone kicking Arnold Schwarzenegger's ass on Mars or the infamous vacuum scene, but I am pro Colin Farrell and maybe Kate Beckinsale kicking his ass and getting into it with Jessica Biel will make this at least an adequate companion piece. It does look promising, I'd say.

Iron Sky trailer

Nazis from the moon. Enough said.

Perhaps a loose fit for this blog, but the sheer awesomeness of the trailer left me with no choice. 

xoxo

d-bag

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

I was a little reticent to get on board with the whole literary and historical reorientation sub genre of horror fiction. I think I drew the line when authors just seemed to base their ideas on mere alliteration (Sense and Sensibilities and Sea Monsters) or convenience of title (Android Karenina). Though I have heard that the steam punk elements of the latter are somewhat interesting. 

Anyway, as ambivalent towards the genre and my own American heritage as I am, I watched the progress of the Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, the first of these "mashup novels" as they're called, with a wary eye. When Tim Burton came on to produce and Timur Bekmambetov came on to direct, I started to pay a little more attention.

Nothing needs to be said about Mr. Burton. Timur Bekmambetov directed the Russian film Night Watch and its sequel, Day Watch. As well as the frenetic comic book adaptation Wanted. Say what you will about Angelina and what have you, but the action in Wanted was very well executed. 

And with Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter's teaser just released, I am actually kind of excited. 

XOXO

d-bag

The Silent House

So, we've got another Hollywood remake of a Spanish horror film on our hands. But since Quarantine is one of my all time favourite American big studio outings, I am actually kind of excited. Not to mention the whole realtime aspect. As flawed as the writing of Fox's 24 sometimes was, I watched it and have to say the real time element sometimes lent a tension I have never felt replicated anywhere else.

And Elizabeth Olson is the next Noomi Rapace, so they say.



Anyways, this trailer is super good. I'm not sure whether I want to watch the original before hand or afterwards. I guess it will depend on how much time.

Side note to all my loyal readers, horror movies and what not don't give me nightmares or anxiety or what not. You know what does, though? Law school exams. I have woken up in terror several times in the last few weeks even though they are done now.

Two hour open book exams. That's real terror.

Second side note. The trailers for Silent House wouldn't full screen for me. So now, maybe some of you can start stalking me from the information in that screen grab.

xoxo

d-bag

Villains abound...

The New York Times  has produced some nice little vignettes about cinematic villainy. Viola Davis kills it, but not quite literally as she doesn't get the chance. Brad Pitt and Gary Oldman really deliver, too.

Check the link for all of them.

xoxo

d-bag

"Death by drill"-- Youtube uploader NateGoldman needs to be put on some kind of watch list...

If you can watch this:

...without feeling sick to your stomach, then there is something wrong with you. The cutting of the hair. The sadism. The humiliation. The production values. The cuts and edits that demonstrate the time it took to put this video together.

Even on a non-sentient piece of circuitry as this, such acts are highly disturbing.

I fear NateGoldman may well be the next Picton or Cleroux. He would probably like that comparison. I should stop, lest he come to my house, shave my head, drive nails through my feet and proceed to torture and burn me.

Anyways, I am so perturbed so as to forego my usual kisses and hug sign off.

Watch your backs,

d-bag.

Melancholia review...

Melancholia is, I suppose, in some very tacit way, a horror movie. As was Lars von Trier’s previous outing, Antrichrist.

As is evident from my previous review on the Skin I Live In, I am not one to struggle against falling into a directorial cult of personality. Evidently, von Trier has such reverent devotees to establish such a thing. 

Arguably though, von Trier’s cult is composed of people who wish to crush their testicles and/or cut off their clitorises. 

And thus, I feel rather reticent to fully immerse myself into such a group of people, valuing my own testicles as I do.

It’s not a spoiler if it refers to a different movie than is being discussed. You should have done your homework. Didn’t you know that, Sidney? 

Anyways, Melancholia is quite well shot. It is opulent, beautiful and visually quite poetic. I would like to lower myself and the film to cliches such as style over substance, but using such easy and maligned dismissals simply wouldn’t do the film justice. 

A lot of the dialogue is riveting, powerful. Spot on. 

But viewed in its entire context, the film is complacent. It is satisfied with what it is and it never tries to be anything more than that. Revealing perhaps is von Trier’s early description of the movie as a beautiful film about the end of the world. It is that and only that. 

It is more an exercise than a movie. von Trier expects a lot out of his audience. You get out of this film what you put in. von Trier wants to write the kinds of films you can dissect, write essays about. And he sure has one here. 

If that’s good or bad is up to you, my friends. 

Sure, there are lots of well played little details that may or not may elucidate something meaningful about the narrative and the story and all of those cinematic undertakings.

But such things could just as easily be dismissed as the self serving meanderings of a bloated diner at an all you can eat sushi place. Let me refine the metaphor: all you can eat sushi hits the tongue delectably at the beginning, but with each subsequent piece the flavours are less pleasurable, your gut gets a little more full. 

That is not to say that Melancholia is heavy handed or has an unpalatable ending, far from it. In fact, the last act is probably the only part in which any legitimate kind of tension is built. 

But by the end, the whole film seems somewhat absurd. Ultimately, its value hangs on that which the viewer goes into with. The concept is good, the execution is good enough and there you have it. Take what you will. 

Consume as many pieces as you want. At an unwieldily running length of over two hours, just be careful you don’t get charged for your leftovers. 

Anyhow, see this once. It’s pretty and well acted. And I would do Alexander Skarsgard and Kiefer Sutherland in any which way.

So, three out of five anemic, melancholic stuck thumbs out of five.

xoxo 

dbag